On September 31st, 2013, Tumblr will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, stand on your dining room table, and do the macarena, all while singing, “I Will Survive”. After sending the video tape of the previous actions to me, then and only then will David Karp come down your chimney to tell you that your account will stay free. Pass it on, it must be true because someone on the internet I hardly know told me.
My Kids' Future
- Kid: Can you tell me what was it like for you growing up?
- Me: I had a good life. I had parents, I had friends, I had fun, but everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
- Kid: Um, fire nation-
- Me: -And then I took that bloody arrow to the knee-
- Kid: But that doesn't-
- Me: -And then Voldemort came out of Mordor and killed my parents-
- Kid: Okay, now I know that's Harr-
- Me: And my brother Dean went to hell after selling his soul for me-
- Kid: That's the plot to Sup-
- Me: And the Doctor was supposed to come save us all but he had to save Sherlock from falling off that building so Watson wouldn't be distraught forever and they could return to Narnia but they all failed and now we're all doomed and the world's going to end with Loki as king on a throne that says "EHEHEHEHEHEHE" every time he moves.
- Kid: You do realize-
- Me: Go do your homework. Winter is coming.